Wedding Bells Are Ringing
by I Love Snuffles
Summary: OOTP SPOILERS! DONT FINISH READING THIS SUMARY IF U HAVNT RED OOTP! ahem. TonksLupin. the character that fell in OotP? HE LIIIIIVES! he's actually the bestman. anybody wanna watch Sirius, Ginny, Fred and George play match makers?
1. I

A/N: there's a crazy healer and pigeon after the best man, a bridesmaid, cook, and guest who have an evil plot to keep Lupin single, and Tonks's usual clumsiness. These equal Tonks and Lupin getting married!! XD Sirius lives!!! He's the best man in this. And please forgive my OC's they really aren't well written or thought out. Almost like I inserted a bunch of real people or something. *shrugs* and forgive any spelling mistakes or format errors. This is for MY pleasure, not yours, and if it really bothers you, you can beta read. I really don't care.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER!! All I own is the stupid pigeon.  
  
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DING DONG! DING DONG! DING DONG! DING DONG! DING DONG! DING DONG! DING DONG! DING DONG! DING DONG! DING DONG! DING DONG! DING DONG! DING DONG! DING DONG! DING DONG!  
  
"ALRIGHT! I'M COMING!" Remus opened the door and looked down on Tonks, who innocently rang the doorbell one more time (DING DONG!) before putting her hands behind her back beaming.  
  
"Hiya Rems!" Tonks said brightly, ignoring the fact that it was four-thirty- five in the morning. Remus stared. and stared. and stared. and stared.  
  
Tonks was disguised as a woman with short light brown hair flecked with grey and pale-ish skin ared with premature wrinkles. a female Remus.  
  
"Aren't you going to invite me in, Lupin?" Tonks asked after she was bored of staring back.  
  
"Yeah, sure - so what are you doing here so early?" Remus stepped aside whilst Tonks bounded in.  
  
"Oh, i just wanted to let you know that Mungo's is going to release Sirius tomorrow. isn't that neat? i came here as soon as i heard the news!" she sat down on the couch and changed her appearance so that she now looked like a female Sirius. "Go tell Moony, I'm going crazy!" she said, apparently imitating the raven-haired animagus himself. Tonks gave herself spiked neon-green hair and settled back into her natural complexion, also leaning back into the couch cushions.  
  
"Is that so?" Remus asked, feeling justifiably grumpy. "and you heard this at four-something in the morning?"  
  
Tonks blinked. "Well, no. i heard it yesterday at lunch, but then i accidentally tripped and got run over by one of those Muggle cars, and i just woke up in Mungo's across from Sirius a few minutes ago. they wouldn't let me out until i pretended that i was you - weirded out healers...." Remus stifled a yawn. "Oh, is that so?" he asked. "well, if you don't mind, i think I'm going back to bed....."  
  
"Which brings me to the point where maybe you could please please please let me stay here? i can't call the kngihtbus because..." but before Tonks had thought up a legitimate excuse, the robe-clad Remus disappeared down the hallway with a "sure, find a spot that's comfortable."  
  
Tonks stared after him and blinked. "oh yeah, i was supposed to say something else... yeah, i forgot though.... ah, well!" Tonks swung her legs up onto the couch and settled herself comfortably. "I'll wake him up and tell him when i remember.." 


	2. II

"Remus! Remus! Remus! Remus! Remus! REMUS! WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UUUUUUUUUUP!"  
  
Remus finally opened one eye and glared at Tonks, who beamed down at him.  
  
deciding she wasn't worth his time, he promptly closed his eye again and rolled over.  
  
"Remus! No, wake up!" Tonks said, then sighed. "C'mon! i just remembered something i was supposed to tell you!"  
  
Groaning slightly, Remus reached over out of the sheltered cove of his blankets and moved his alarm clock (Muggle invention - wonderful things) so that the red numbers glowed surremptuously.  
  
"TONKS, IT'S FIVE-THIRTY-TWO IN THE MORNING!!"  
  
"i know," Tonks said, apparently happy that Remus had figured this out so fast. "we're late."  
  
realizing that he was obviously not going to get any more sleep, Remus sat up with a groan and glared at Tonks, who only broadened her care-free grin.  
  
"What are we late for, Tonks?" he asked, using a calm voice.  
  
"Sirius! we've got to pick him up! i told Sirius that we'd get him the moment it was the next day, so that's 12:01 isn't it? but it's already five something! c'mon, we've got to go get him!"  
  
Remus stared at her, somewhat incredulous.  
  
"Excuse me?" he asked.  
  
"Well, imagine if Sirius were dead! we've gotta make him happy, or he might DIIIIIIIE!" Tonks explained matter-of-factly. the devotion Tonks held for her cousin was surprising.  
  
Remus gave her a shrewd look. "Sirius can wait." he said, a bit more firmly than he intended to. however, he seemed to have gotten a message across, because Tonks backed off slightly, raising her bright green eyebrows.  
  
happy with this acknowledgement, Remus rolled over and buried himself once more in his bed, and was almost asleep when.....  
  
"Okay, you're grumpy because you didn't have your nap, i understand. BUT we've got to! C'MON! WAKE UP!"  
  
Tonks bounded onto his bed and bounced on it with each word: "GET - UP - GET - UP - GET - UP - GET - UP - GET - UP - GET - UP" and so on and so on.  
  
thirty minutes later, Remus, fully dressed, was leaning against the fireplace yawning while Tonks stared at herself in a mirror, finally deciding on shoulder length orange hair and big blue eyes.  
  
"Ready to go?" she asked brightly, grabbing an unnecessarily large amount of floo powder and flinging it into the fireplace with all of her might. "Hey!" she cried when nothing happened.  
  
"Tonks..... we might want to light a fire first...." Remus murmured.  
  
"..... oh..." Tonks realized. "... yes, that would be a good idea..." 


	3. III

A/N: this chapter takes place before the first two.  
  
.  
  
Riri had been working at St. Mungo's for three weeks when she was assigned perhaps the most cutest wonderfullest bestest best patient there ever was.  
  
by the name of Sirius Black.....  
  
who cared if he was a mass-murderer? who cared if he had longer-than- necessary hair? who cared if the Minister said (in an extremely doubtful tone of voice) that he was innocent?  
  
THIS GUY WAS CUTE!!  
  
and best of all..... SINGLE!! MUAHA!  
  
Riri was quick in making sure that she was his only caretaker.  
  
.....which really wasn't too hard, as the rest of the female healers were scared sick of Sirius (but why? HE'S HOTT!) and so were, for that matter, the male healers. (more for Riri!)  
  
discovering this, Riri was all too happy to stay at Black's bedside twenty- four-seven, in case somebody came in with thoughts of finishing him off.  
  
The sad things were, (1) all these people kept on coming in to see him (a werewolf, an old man with a long beard, a large assortment of other men, a little girl, another littler girl, some black-haired boy with a weirdo-scar on his forehead, some little boy with freckles, some woman that probably didn't know the difference between a rock and a lipstick tube, and thensome...), (2) this weird Pigeon had been sitting at the window staring at Sirius for an uncannily large amount of time and (3) Black hadn't woken from his coma.  
  
But with a week's nurturing from Riri, he finally stirred somewhat and opened his eyes which were dark (and soooooooo pretty!) and confused. (soooooooo cute!)  
  
the first living thing he saw was a dying plant on his bedside table. the second thing was the pigeon outside the window on the ledge, which seemed to be frozen where it was, and the third thing was Riri, who pounced the moment she was certain he was aware of her.  
  
"HIYA! mah name's Riri, but you, mah dear, cn call meh Honey! oh, i do hope ya don' mind if i call ya daddy whilst ya spank meh?"  
  
Sirius Black, the poor dear, closed his eyes and promptly passed out again.  
  
WHYYYYY?! ?! ?! ?! ?! hmm.... perhaps Riri had been too dazzling for his poor coma-wakened brain to compute. yeah, that must have been it.  
  
the next time he woke up (three days of non-stop visitations later), Riri made sure to be much more softer in her accommodations.  
  
"WEEEEELCOME to the FUTUUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!" She cried, bouncing onto the foot of his bed and waving her arms around.  
  
this time he didn't pass out. chalk one up for Riri! but he did stare at her and say, in a croaky voice,  
  
"Who the hell are you?"  
  
Riri dropped her arms and looked up at the ceiling, thinking this question over. not coming up with a response as witty as she would have liked (first impressions are lasting impressions!) she settled for: "WEEEEELCOME to the FUTUUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!" whilst waving her arms around and widening her eyes for emphasis.  
  
again, he stared at her.  
  
"Where's Harry?" he asked finally.  
  
"Who?" Harry? OH NO! was he not single? did he have a girlfriend named Harry?! NNOOOOOO!! RIRI COULD NOT ALLOW THIIIIS!! "Oh, her! Harry, yeah, um... well, she said that she didn't like you anymore, and that you, um, weren't cute!" what an insult.  
  
Once more, Black simply stared at her. it was a long, hard, unblinking stare, like he was attempting to read her mind.  
  
and failing, of course, as her mind was quite empty.  
  
"Harry Potter," he said, slowly, as though speaking to a rather dimwitted child.  
  
"Yeah, her!" Riri said, dropping her arms, which she had still been waving. "She doesn't like you anymore!" this guy didn't catch a hint. hmm.... must remember for future reference....  
  
"Where am i?" he said after a moment of more staring.  
  
"St. Mungos! and i am your caretaker!" abruptly, a thrilling thought occurred to Riri. "AND it's time for your sponge bath!" (usually a simple cleaning spell was used, as other patients in the room were female)  
  
"No," he said quite firmly, and Riri toppled to the floor in a heap. she'd been about to hop down from his bed, and his abrupt and firm and hoarse order had stopped her, but it was rather impossible to stop whilst halfway in the air, she ended up on the floor.  
  
this place needed an anti-gravity spell, dammit!!  
  
"Why not?" Riri asked, scrambling about and trying to get to her feet. when she did, she fell backwards again as she had just run into him. "Hey, you! get back in bed, you aren't supposed to be standing!" not that she was complaining of course, as he was rather shirtless. hmm.... a bit thin. WAY too thin. and pale.  
  
a vacation in Hawaii ought to fix that.....  
  
"HEY! get back here! hey, waita second, where are you going? HEEEEY!" another note for future reference: Sirius Black is a very fast walker.  
  
the other patients looked up, interested, as he passed to the door.  
  
Riri scrambled to her feet again and shot out the door after him, wand in hand, and caught up to him halfway down the hall. pointing her wand directly at his chest, she looked up at him (he had stopped, and turned out to be two and a half heads taller than her) and said:  
  
"You get back to bed mister! right NOW, i say!"  
  
ONCE AGAIN, Riri received a long hard stare.  
  
"I'm going to find my godson," he said, apparently louder then he had intended. he must have either ceased using his voice for a while, or had laryngitis.  
  
anyroad, it just so happened that two healers had come from the tearoom, chatting and holding cups of coffee (which crashed to the ground when they saw who was in the hall).  
  
less than a minute later, Sirius Black was back in bed, and being tended to by a very chatty Riri (who had promised to contact some guys called Harley Pooter and Dumd-dee-door to get him to hold still).  
  
however, Sirius just stared out the window silently. or maybe he was staring at the pigeon, who stared right back. either way, he completely ignored Riri until the door opened and some visitors came in. 


	4. IV

"So! how are you?" Tonks asked one sunny afternoon in Diagon alley, happily eating an ice-cream with Kingsley and Dumbledore.  
  
"Fine...."  
  
"On business," Dumbledore said, "Tonks, can you please let Lupin know that Sirius will be released soon? and that he needs to be picked up? Kingsley, could you tell the other members? I'll let Miss Granger and Harry know."  
  
"Yessir!" Tonks cried, saluting smartly so that the top of her ice-cream fell off her cone. "oh well," she chirped brightly (as there had been five scoops under the first).  
  
"they'll all know come tomorrow." Kingsley said with a nod.  
  
"Good," Dumbledore said. "this is excellent. right. well, I'm off!" he aparated away.  
  
"Cheers, Tonks," Kingsley said before he aparated too.  
  
Tonks skipped around Diagon whilst eating her ice cream, and when she was done she bounced back out the old fashioned way and decided to explore the Muggle streets of London.  
  
This turned out to be great fun until a driver frowned upon her on the roads.  
  
Luckily, a wizard nearby knew that Tonks was a witch, and brought her flattened body to St. Mungo's.  
  
--------  
  
When Tonks woke up, everything was somewhat blurry, and she was staring at something dark.  
  
the ceiling, she realized!  
  
she turned her head and looked out a window, where a pigeon sat frozen (but it wasn't winter! maybe a freezing spell? nah!) with it's beak pressed against the window, staring at the patient across from her, who Tonks couldn't see straight as a healer was snoozing.  
  
poor bloke, Tonks though, getting up. it clicked that she was in St. Mungos. very late at night, or very early in the morning.  
  
poor bird, she thought, and went over to the dark window and opened it, melting the ice off with her hand and going back to her bed, where she found her wand and revived it.  
  
"SQUAWCK!" said the pigeon. it flapped over to the other bed. the healer (that had been snoring nonstop) screamed and ran around in circles as the pigeon landed comfortably on the patient's bedside table and proceeded to stare... at the patient....  
  
"SIRIUS!!" Tonks cried, realizing which room she was in. she jumped up and ran over to him - he seemed happy to see her, if not somewhat grumpy for being woken up.  
  
"Tonks! hello, old girl, how are you?"  
  
"oh, I'm just... peachy!"  
  
"and how have things been without me? Dumbledore and the others never tell....."  
  
"Oh, things are swell, abso-spiffy-lutely swell!"  
  
"And Harry? Moony? i haven't seen them since i woke up...."  
  
"Harry's been terriblly depressed without you, and Lupin's been.... um, well, i haven't seen him in a while. we're all pretty busy, what with evil Lord V and all, Dumbledore won't let me tail Harry around, the jerk, i could take care of him...." she remembered Sirius. "oh, yeah! where were we?"  
  
Sirius laughed (something he had not done for ages).  
  
"EXCUSE ME?! AND JUST WHO THE *^%# ARE YOU?!" roared a voice, making both Sirius and Tonks jump. ("SQUAWK!" said the Pigeon, momentarily breaking it's gaze on Sirius.) it was the healer from before.  
  
"My name is Tonks, nice ta meetchya!" Tonks said brightly.  
  
"Oh," the healer seemed to fizzle down a little bit. "you aren't Harry?"  
  
"Oh, goodness, no - i don't have a scar on my forehead, do i?" Tonks asked cheerfully.  
  
"and you know Sirius.... how?" the healer continued, choosing to ignore Tonk's latter remark.  
  
"oh, he's my cousin," Tonks said, and leaned down and grabbed Sirius's head, crushing him in a hug to her chest, as though to prove her point. she dropped him at the slightly homicidal look in the healer's eyes.  
  
"what? well, we are!"  
  
"BACK IN BED WITH YOU!! YOU ARE INJURED AND ILL, BACK IN BED, GET, SHOO!"  
  
"but--"  
  
"LAY DOWN!"  
  
Tonks dropped like a rock to the floor and the healer stalked off, muttering something about sleeping potions. she changed her features (she being Tonks) to that of a female Remus and jumped up again, glancing at a snickering Sirius, who almost laughed at who she now looked like.  
  
"Go tell Moony, I'm going crazy!" he breathed. Tonks nodded. "i promise to get you out of here the exact MOMENT it is tomorrow!" and walked out (after a short inquiry from the healer, who apparently was called Riri).  
  
she made her way to Remus Lupin's place after a few hours (it was very dark outside, so she got lost once or twice) and decided that she wouldn't make it to her own room back in the Leaky Cauldron. much too tired.  
  
so she knocked on the door. nope. she looked to the left, lit her wand, and saw a doorbell. 'ah!' she thought. i haven't seen one of these for ages!'  
  
she pushed it, and heard the echoing sound in the house faintly. laughing to herself, Tonks pushed it again. and again. and again.  
  
giddy from the lack of sleep, she pushed it even faster and harder in quick successive motion until......  
  
"ALRIGHT! I'M COMING!" the door opened and a berobed Remus stood there, staring at her.  
  
Tonks, also staring at Remus, rang the doorbell one more time before throwing her hands behind her back and beaming.  
  
.  
  
(A/N: to know what happens after this, see part one and then part two. oh geeze, I'm dumb. i should have done part three and part four first, AND THEN part one and part two! AUGH! I'M SUCH AN IDIOT!! *bangs head on door and falls down* FWEE! I'm giddy gidd-dd-dd-dd-ddy! COFFE MAKE YOU HYPER, did you guys KNOW that? OH, IT does, it DOES!!!!!!! weeeeee *) 


End file.
